Only the Voices in My Head
by Empress Tansy
Summary: I can't hear anything. I can't hear my mother's voice, I can't hear the squeals of happy kits when they play, and I can't hear my leader's doubts of my ability to be a warrior. I understand little, and rely on only the voices in my head for guidance, but the voices I hear may not have my best interests at heart. I don't know it, but the voices I hear care only about revenge.
1. Prologue

_**(A/N: Hey, y'all! This is my newest piece of fanfiction. I thought I'd better make a quick announcement before we get started. First, I will not be updating Win a Date with Nightcloud daily anymore; I will be updating every other day. For April, this story will be updated on the even days, and the spoof will be updated on the odd days. Second, this story is going to be a bit different than my earlier stories. The prologue will be in third person, but the rest will be in first person, and for the most part will be in the form of a conversation, written entirely in thoughts. Anyway, it will be interesting. Enjoy!)**_

Only the Voices in my Head

Allegiances

Leader: Bramblestar- dark brown tabby tom with amber eyes

Deputy: Squirrelflight- dark ginger she-cat with green eyes

Medicine Cat: Jayfeather- gray tabby tom with blind blue eyes

Apprentice: Seedberry

Warriors

Leafpool- light brown tabby she-cat with amber eyes, former medicine cat

Birchfall- light brown tabby tom

Whitewing- white she-cat with green eyes

Apprentice: Hollypaw

Berrynose- cream-colored tom

Apprentice: Snowpaw

Mousewhisker- gray-and-white tom

Apprentice: Dewpaw

Cinderheart- gray tabby she-cat

Lionblaze- golden tabby tom with amber eyes

Foxleap- reddish tabby tom

Toadstep- black-and-white tom

Apprentice: Honeypaw

Blossomfall- tortoiseshell and white she-cat

Apprentice: Amberpaw

Bumblestripe- very pale gray tom with black stripes

Ivypool- silver-and-white tabby she-cat with dark blue eyes

Apprentice: Brackenpaw

Molewhisker- brown-and-cream tom

Cherryleaf- ginger she-cat

Lilycloud- dark tabby she-cat with white patches

Queens

Hazeltail- small gray-and-white she-cat (mother of Toadstep's kit: Mosskit- pale gray-and-white she-cat with blue eyes, deaf, 5 moons old)

Icecloud- white she-cat (mother of Molewhisker's kits: Fernkit- white she-cat, Thrushkit- brown-and-cream tom, Darkkit- brown tabby tom, 3 moons old)

Rosepetal- dark cream she-cat (expecting Foxleap's kits)

Dovewing- pale gray she-cat with blue eyes (expecting Bumblestripe's kits)

Apprentices

Seedberry- very pale ginger she-cat

Amberpaw- white she-cat with ginger patches

Snowpaw- long-haired white tom with blue eyes

Dewpaw- white tom with blue eyes

Hollypaw- gray tabby she-cat with green eyes

Honeypaw- golden brown tabby she-cat with amber eyes

Brackenpaw- golden brown tabby tom with amber eyes

Elders

Sandstorm- pale ginger she-cat with green eyes

Cloudtail- long-haired white tom with blue eyes

Brightheart- white she-cat with ginger patches

Thornclaw- golden brown tabby tom

Spiderleg- long-limbed black tom with brown underbelly and amber eyes

Notes

Dustpelt died of a broken heart after Ferncloud's death

Graystripe died of greencough

Brackenfur died of greencough

Briarlight died of greencough

Millie was killed by a fox

Daisy was killed by a fox

Hollypaw, Honeypaw, and Brackenpaw are Cinderheart and Lionblaze's kits

Prologue

A bright, round moon shone over the pebbly shore of a wide river. The water moved slowly and gently, barely grazing a few smooth stones that jutted out of the river's surface. Farther back from the shoreline, a few reeds swished, hiding two beings as they padded closer the river.

A reddish-brown cat pushed out of the reeds first, pausing on the riverbank to wait for his companion. A blue-gray she-cat quickly followed him onto the sleek stones on the water's edge. Silently, the tom pressed forward. He leaped gracefully onto the first stone, and then to the second. Without a word, the she-cat did the same.

Once across the river, the muscular tom padded along the shoreline. A well-trodden path opened up in the long, soft grass on the side of the water. The tom turned onto the path, his face grim with determination. The she-cat still followed her partner, her blue eyes shining with hope. Unlike the tom, she was optimistic about the outcome of what they were about to do.

Suddenly the tall grass parted to reveal a wide, open clearing. In the center of the clearing stood a tall, dark oak tree decorated with dew-covered light green leaves. Sitting on the lowest branches of the tree sat four ghostly cats, almost transparent. It was possible to see right through them; their bodies only rough outlines of what they once were.

"Greetings Oakheart, Bluestar," one of the cats, once a wiry brown she-cat, meowed formally.

The reddish-brown tom, Oakheart, dipped his head respectfully to the ancient cat. "Hello, Wind." He turned his head, slowly scanning the other three old warriors with dark amber eyes. "Hello Thunder, River, and Shadow."

A silvery-gray tom studied the newcomers for a moment. "You have come to us with a request, yes?" River asked, tipping his head to one side.

"A request you have come to us with before," the ginger tom, Thunder, added.

Bluestar nodded, giving the first ThunderClan leader a hopeful look. "I pray that this time you will grant our request."

The last cat sitting in the tree, a black she-cat, turned her questioning green gaze onto the blue-gray newcomer. "We have not granted it any of the times you have asked before. What makes you think we will grant it this time?"

"Shadow, I will not stop asking until our request is granted," Bluestar replied.

Oakheart nodded, standing shoulder-to-shoulder with his mate. "Great Judges of StarClan, we only ask of you one thing. Why is it that you cannot grant us this one request?"

Wind closed her amber eyes, shaking her head. "Your request is a difficult one. It would take a lot of power to grant it."

"But it is power you have!" Bluestar hissed, lashing her tail. "You have done this before."

"Not after so much time had passed," Thunder meowed. "We were able to reincarnate Cinderpelt because another kit was being born just as she was dying. Her spirit was easy to transfer."

The reddish-brown tom narrowed his amber eyes. "But this is my _daughter_ we're talking about! Did you forget about my kit who never had the chance to live? Cinderpelt lived a full life, even though it wasn't one she would have chosen for herself. My daughter didn't even have that. She didn't even get to live a full moon!"

"Oakheart, we hear your request," River growled, "but you do not understand our concerns. Mosskit has been dead for many season-cycles. She had been dead long before either you or Bluestar died, and much time has passed since then. The Clans have changed so much since the time you two were young warriors."

"You think we don't know that?" Bluestar spat. "We know things have changed. We know the Clans have a new home, that the Dark Forest once tried to destroy them, that the fire that saved our Clans many times has died- we know all of that! But why does that mean my daughter does not deserve a chance to live?"

Thunder sighed heavily, not wanting to argue with the determined she-cat. With a glance at his companions, he meowed, "Wind, River, Shadow- can we not do this for them? They will only come again if we refuse. They will come and come again if we do not allow Mosskit to live."

Wind shook her head stubbornly, glaring at the fiery ginger tom. "You know that takes more power than we have. She would have to be born with a flaw. She could not be born like any normal kit."

"A flaw?" Oakheart questioned, narrowing his eyes. "What kind of flaw?"

"We must take something from her," Thunder explained. "She must have a disability. If we agree to reincarnate your daughter, she could be born with a twisted paw so that she could not hunt or fight properly. She could be born without the ability to see, or perhaps without the ability to hear."

Bluestar dug her claws into the soft grass below her. "Are you certain this is the only way?"

The silver former RiverClan leader nodded. "It is. If you really want this for Mosskit, then we will do it. There is a queen in ThunderClan ready to kit. If you agree to allow your daughter to be born with an imperfection, we can make her that queen's kit."

The blue-gray she-cat turned away from River to face her mate. "What do you think, Oakheart?" she asked. "Do we want this bad enough? What if she suffers because of this?"

"We both want her to live," he reminded her gently. "If she's anything like her brother or sister, she can overcome anything. Stonefur and Mistystar both became deputies, and Mistystar even became Clan leader. Mosskit can be great, even if she lacks her vision or hearing."

"My poor daughter…" Bluestar sighed, turning back to the Great Judges of StarClan. "Very well. We accept your conditions on Mosskit's reincarnation."

The four leaders glanced amongst themselves, murmuring quietly to each other. Finally, Shadow turned to Bluestar and Oakheart, a pleased gleam in her green eyes. "Request granted!"

_**(A/N: Hope you likes it so far. Chapter 1 will be posted 4/16)**_


	2. Chapter 1

_**(A/N: Hey, y'all! Just wanted to mention that Chapter 1 is kind of boring. It's mostly character development. It was really difficult to write because I realized Mosskit wouldn't be able to describe the things she sees since no one can tell her what they are. Gosh, description for this was hard. Anyway, the 'voice' will appear in Chapter 2.)**_

Chapter 1

I don't understand. The things were staring at me again- all of them. There are four big ones, one of which is the one that takes care of me. They stared at me a lot, always with sad expressions on their faces. I don't know why they're sad. I haven't done anything. The littler ones stare at me too. There are three of them, and they stare at me the most. We're the same size. I know that much. I wish I knew why they stared at me. They don't stare at each other- they only stare at me.

The one that takes care of me always looks the saddest. The one that takes care of me wraps itself around me and presses me up against its warm, soft body. I know that one likes me, even if no one else does. That one is the only one who seems to like me. The one that takes care of me gets angry at the little ones who stare at me. I can tell by the way its body stiffens and the way its eyes flash. It doesn't want the little ones staring at me. I don't know why.

I don't know anything. I don't know who I am, and I don't know what I am. I don't know who the one that takes care of me is or who the one that comes to visit me every day is. I know I look just like the one that takes care of me. We're the same colors, but I don't know how to describe us. I don't know where I am. I know it is dark in here, it's warm, and it has a soft place to sleep. I know the other big ones with little ones all sleep here, but that's all I know.

The one who takes care of me takes me out of this place sometimes. I sit on this spiky stuff and watch everyone. There are a lot of us. We're all the same things, and I guess we all live together. Most of the big ones ignore me. Some of the smaller ones that aren't as little as me stop and stare, but then they go on their way. The littlest ones like to be out of that dark, warm, soft place too. They all wrestle together and get in the way of the big ones, but the big ones don't seem to mind. The little ones look like they're having fun. I wish I could join in, but they haven't invited me. Then again, I don't know how they would. I probably wouldn't understand what they were trying to do. I don't understand much.

Sometimes the ones that stare at me move their mouths. I don't know why. I thought mouths were just for eating, but they move their mouths when they aren't eating sometimes. I wish I knew what they were doing. The one that takes care of me moves its mouth a lot, especially when the one who comes to visit is there. They both stare at me and move their mouths. I don't understand it. They both look so sad, too. I wonder why they're sad. I don't think there's anything wrong. That big ball of light way up high is usually shining. It isn't cold. None of us are hungry. What is there to be sad about?

I guess I know they're sad because of me. The one who comes to visit doesn't look so sad when it isn't with me. The one who takes care of me looks the saddest when the other one comes to visit. They are always sad when they're together. I don't know why I make them sad. I haven't pulled the soft stuff out of the place we sleep. I haven't hurt the one who takes care of me with those sharp things on my paws. I haven't done anything wrong. I wish they weren't sad. I wish I knew how to make them happy. The other ones here look happy. The little ones look happy. Why can't the one who takes care of me be happy?

I don't know how to tell anyone how I feel. The one who takes care of me seems to know when I'm hungry or tired, but I wish I could somehow express that I want to make it happy or that I want to play with the others. I don't know how, so mostly I just lie around. I do that too much. I don't think I can do anything else.

I remember the day when the one who takes care of me and the one who visits me looked the saddest. It was a while ago- a cycle of the big thing in the dark way up high place ago. One of the big things came and sat with me for a long time. That one didn't stare at me. Its eyes are cloudy. I don't think it can see. That one moved his mouth, though. It looked like it was straining its mouth. It got the attention of everyone else here, too. After a while, it stopped moving its mouth at me and turned to the one who takes care of me and the one who visits me. It moved its mouth at them, and that's when they got really sad. The one who takes care of me collapsed on the ground, shaking and moving its mouth in a weird way. The one who visits me lay down beside it, and I could tell it was trying to comfort it. That didn't help.

That was when I realized it was my fault. I made them sad. I don't know what I did. I want to tell the things I'm sorry for whatever it is I do that makes them sad, but I can't. I can't express my sorrow or feelings to anyone. I live in a world of silence. I live in a world of confusion. All I want is to understand what's wrong with me.


	3. Chapter 2

_**(A/N: winxclubfan1- *sighs* I really need to check each character's wikia page before making the allegiances. This isn't the first time I've forgotten something important. At least they're half-siblings. There was a case in the canon stories of full-siblings have a kit. Willowpelt and Patchpelt are brother and sister, and they had Graystripe. If the Erins can mess up, then so can I. With slightly less embarrassment, anyway.)**_

Chapter 2

I laid sprawled out on the soft stuff I sleep on. There is light out still, so I'm the only one in the dark, warm place. Even the one who takes care of me is gone. I'm not a little newborn kit, so I guess it doesn't feel the need to stay with me all of the time. I don't know where everyone goes when they aren't here. I don't think I'm supposed to go out by myself and see. One time I tried to follow the one who takes care of me, but it gave me a sad look and gently pushed me back into the soft spot. I guess I'm only allowed out if that one wants to take me.

I spend most of the daylight by myself. Sometimes there are two other big ones in this dark place that don't have little ones. I think they're going to, though. They are both very big. Neither of them is here right now. I think they like to spend the light time outside. Sometimes I wish they would spend the day in here with me, but they never do. They just leave me alone. I'm almost always alone. It's not so bad, really. When I'm alone, no one stares at me or looks sad because of me. I can just lie here and think without making anybody sad, so that's a good thing about being alone all the time.

_Mosskit_.

What was that? There was a noise! Something made a noise! I sat straight up, tensing. My ears flattened against my head as I looked around the dark place fearfully. I had never heard a noise before, and it was a little scary. Why had I heard a noise?

_Don't be frightened, Mosskit. I'm here to help._

Who's Mosskit? Who's here to help? I don't understand.

The sound laughed. _You're Mosskit, silly._

I am Mosskit?

_That's your name. Everyone has a name._

Oh. I am Mosskit. I like that. It sounds pretty. _What is everyone else's name?_ I thought. The other things here must have names, too.

_Your mother's name is Hazeltail. Your father's name is Toadstep._

What's a 'mother'? What's a 'father'? I do not understand those words. I don't understand much.

_The one who takes care of you is your mother. The one that comes to visit you is your father._

I think I get it. My mother is Hazeltail and my father is Toadstep. I don't know what hazels or toads are, but it's nice to know what those things are called.

_Those things are cats. You're a cat, Mosskit. Everyone here is a cat._

A cat? That's what I am?

_Yes_.

Who are the other cats? Do they have names, too?

_Everyone has a name. You share a den with six other cats. The big ones are Icecloud, Dovewing, and Rosepetal._

So this dark place must be called a den.

_Yes, it is. It's also called a nursery because kits live here when they're young. The big she-cats here are called 'queens'. _

I guess that means a queen is a cat with kits or is expecting kits.

_That's right. Icecloud is the white queen. Dovewing is the pale gray one. Rosepetal is dark cream._

White? Gray? Cream? I don't understand. What do those words mean?

_You are gray and white. Look at your pelt. Those are your colors. Hazeltail is gray and white, too. Toadstep is black and white._

I studied my fur for a moment. I am gray and white, apparently. I know some colors now! _Who are the other little ones_? I asked.

_The little she-cat is Fernkit. The toms are Thrushkit and Darkkit._

Fernkit is white, kind of like me, but without the gray patches. It is very pretty. I guess Darkkit must be the dark striped kit. That would make sense. That means Thrushkit is the dark and cream-colored one. Thrushkit looks like its father.

_His father._

His? What's a 'his'?

_You say 'his' for a tom and 'her' for a she-cat._

I don't know what a tom or she-cat is. More words I don't understand.

_You are a she-cat. Your mother, the other queens, and Fernkit are she-cats. Your father, Thrushkit, and Darkkit are toms._

I think I understand that. I am Mosskit, and I am a gray and white she-cat. I can describe myself now!

_Does that help?_

It does. I am still confused, though. I have a lot of questions for this noise. _Who are you? Why can I hear you? What is wrong with me? Why can't I hear anyone else? Why can't I see you?_

_There is nothing wrong with you, Mosskit. You are deaf- that means you cannot hear. It's alright. That doesn't mean something's wrong with you- it means you're special._

So there is nothing wrong with me? That's a relief.

_You can hear me because I'm not really here. I was sent from StarClan to be your guide. _

What is StarClan? I'm not sure I understand this sound.

_The sound you hear is my voice. I am a voice inside your head. I am talking to you. StarClan is where good cats go when they die._

Die? This voice is dead?

_Yes, but I'm here to help._

Help. That's what I need. Maybe this voice can explain to me what's going on and why everyone stares at me.

_They stare because they do not understand. They have not met a deaf cat before._

Oh. So there is something wrong with me. I knew there was something wrong with me.

_Don't say that! There is nothing wrong with you. I don't want to ever hear you say that again!_

I didn't say it. I thought it.

_Same thing. Don't say it. Don't think it. There is nothing wrong with you, and you've got me for guidance. You can be just like the other kits. You can be just like everyone else._

I sighed. _Fine. I won't say it again. But you still haven't told me who you are!_

_My name is Snowtuft._


	4. Chapter 3

**_(A/N: So you all remember who Snowtuft is? Excellent. I was afraid I was going to get reviews saying 'Uh...you know he's evil, right?' Just in case any of you were thinking that: Yes. I know. I chose him specifically because he doesn't have a back-story. We don't know why he's in the Dark Forest. Now I can make up something that explains what he wants to do with poor little Mosskit.)_**

Chapter 3

I sat outside the nursery, watching the other cats go about their business. It was nice knowing what we were now. I liked knowing things. It made the world less confusing. I understood things now, and had learned the names of almost every cat in my 'Clan'. I had learned from Snowtuft that the spiky stuff I was sitting on is called 'grass' and its color was green. I had learned that the big ball of light way up high was called the 'sun.' I was learning!

A dark colored cat- brown, I think- padded out from a den way up high on the stone walls of our camp. I knew from what Snowtuft had told me that this cat was Bramblestar, the leader of ThunderClan. I am part of ThunderClan. Bramblestar sat on the smooth ledge of the stone and moved his mouth. All the cats began to gather beneath the ledge, as if expecting something to happen. I wondered what's going on.

_It's a warrior naming ceremony._

A what? What's a warrior? What's a ceremony?

_A warrior is an adult cat in your Clan. When you're too old to be a kit, Bramblestar will make you an apprentice. Apprentices are cats who are learning how to be warriors. _

Oh. _Will I be a warrior someday_? I asked Snowtuft.

_Of course you will, but you have to be an apprentice first._

I wished I could see Snowtuft. That would make it easier to talk to him. I'd also kind of like to see what he looks like. I haven't seen snow, so I don't know what color that is. _When will I be an apprentice?_

_In just one moon. You are five moons old, and you have to be six moons old to be made an apprentice._

When I'm an apprentice, I won't be stuck in the nursery anymore. I will be able to do things like normal cats. Maybe that will make Mother happy.

_You will make Hazeltail very happy, Mosskit. You will make everyone very happy. Now sit still and watch the ceremony._

I sat up straight, trying to see the cats sitting at the base of the ledge. A dark she-cat with white patches was standing in the front, watching Bramblestar carefully. She was as big as all the other warriors. I guess that's why I hadn't realized she was an apprentice. She wasn't as small as the rest of them.

Bramblestar was moving his mouth, staring down at the apprentice. I wished I could hear the words he's saying.

_He's saying 'Lilypaw, you have worked hard to understand the ways of our noble code, and it is time for you to be made a warrior. Do you promise to uphold the Warrior Code and protect ThunderClan at any cost- even your life?'_

Her name is Lilypaw. That's a nice name. _What's the Warrior Code?_

_It's a bunch of rules Clan cats have to follow. It says things like 'You can't take a mate from another Clan' and 'You have to hunt for the Clan before you take food for yourself.'_

I wondered if I'll have to learn all of the rules. How will I learn them if I can't hear anybody?

_Did you forget something, Mosskit?_

What am I forgetting, exactly?

_You have me._

Oh yeah. Right. I have Snowtuft. I need to remember that. He can teach me all the rules of the Warrior Code.

I watched as Lilypaw nodded at something Bramblestar had said. I wished I had been paying attention. The leader then hopped down from his ledge and placed his head on the she-cat's shoulder.

_Lilypaw just got her new name. She's called 'Lilycloud' now._

What will my warrior name be? I hope Bramblestar gives me a nice name.

_Sometimes leaders give cats a name based on personality traits or physical traits. I'm called Snowtuft because I'm white and have little tufts of fur on my ears._

I am not the color of moss, so that doesn't help me. I could be Mossfur maybe. Or Mossheart. I'm pretty nice, I think. I don't push around the other kits, even though they're a bit younger than me.

_You'll probably end up being called Mossdeaf or Mossnoears or something._

Those are stupid names. Why would Bramblestar name me one of those?

_Because you're deaf, remember?_

I sighed loudly. I kept forgetting I was deaf. I kept forgetting I'm not normal like the other cats.

_You are normal. The rest of the Clan just doesn't see that._

Well, I want to show them that I can be a good warrior. I can be just like them.

_Of course you can. It's just going to be a little hard for you. Most of ThunderClan don't think you should become an apprentice._

They don't? Why?

_They don't think you'll be able to learn right. You have to learn how to hunt and fight, and Bramblestar doesn't think you'll be able to._

But that's not fair!

_I know. Bramblestar might agree to make you an apprentice, but you will have to prove that you can be a warrior._

I can be a warrior! I know I can! _Is he the only one who thinks I won't be able to?_

_No. Squirrelflight- the deputy- and Jayfeather- the medicine cat- think the same way. So do most of the warriors. Haven't you seen the way they look at you? Haven't you seen the way the kits stare at you?_

I have, but I didn't think they thought I won't be able to be a warrior.

_Well, they do. You are going to have to prove them otherwise, Mosskit. You're going to have to prove to everyone in ThunderClan that you are just as capable as being a warrior as they are._

I just remembered something. Isn't Jayfeather blind? Is he a medicine cat because he wasn't allowed to become a warrior?

_No, Jayfeather chose that path for himself. The Clan didn't think he was useless._

They think I'm useless?

_Yes._


	5. Chapter 4

_**(A/N: Aqua Butterfly Aquastar- nope. Snowtuft is a tom.**_

_**Midget Kit- Er, you're half right. Leopardfoot and Patchpelt are brother and sister because they are littermates, but Willowpelt is their sister too. Their mother had more than one litter. Swiftbreeze and Leopardfoot and Patchpelt in the beginning of Bluestar's Prophecy, but she later had Willowpelt, Spottedleaf, and Redtail. Patchpelt and Willowpelt are siblings, just not littermates.)**_

Chapter 4

I was sleeping in the nursery when Mother came to get me. I wasn't sure why she woke me from my nap. She never had before. But she nosed me to my paws and pointed to the entrance to the den with her tail, wanting me to follow her out. I padded out of the nursery, blinking my blue eyes into the bright sunny sky. My mother strolled over to where my father and Bramblestar were sitting underneath the High Ledge. They didn't look happy. I wondered what was going on.

_They're discussing whether you can be made an apprentice now._

Am I old enough to be an apprentice now?

_You are just about six moons old, so yes._

I was suddenly much more curious about what they were talking about. I was old enough to be made an apprentice! I wouldn't have to lie around the nursery anymore!

_That is if Bramblestar agrees to make you an apprentice._

I can learn. I know I can do the hunter's crouch. I've seen Hollypaw and Honeypaw practice it enough. I'm getting really good at it, I think.

_There is more to being an apprentice than being able to do a hunter's crouch. You have to be able to find they prey first._

My nose works just fine. I can scent everything!

_Right. Sure you can. But what about fighting? Bramblestar is only going to want warriors who can fight._

I've seen the apprentices teach the other kits some battle moves. I can copy then just fine. Yesterday I did that powerful back-kick I saw Snowpaw teaching Thrushkit and Darkkit.

_I know. You did that very well, but no one else saw it. Nobody pays attention to you because they don't think it's worth their time teaching you anything._

Well, I can hunt and fight. I know I can. I'll show Bramblestar and all those other cats. I'll give them a reason to notice me!

_You'd better do something fast. Hazeltail and Toadstep want to you be apprenticed today, but Bramblestar is saying no._

What can I do? I looked up at the three adult cats. Bramblestar's tail was twitching nervously and his eyes looked uncertain. Mother and Father both looked a little angry. Father was moving his mouth really fast, but Bramblestar was shaking his head at everything Father said.

_Toadstep is saying that he would mentor you if Bramblestar would let him, but parents aren't supposed to mentor their kits and he already has an apprentice. Bramblestar doesn't think Toadstep would be tough enough with you since you're his daughter and that he wouldn't be spending enough time with Honeypaw if he mentored you as well._

Mother doesn't have an apprentice. Can't she mentor me?

_She already asked. Bramblestar said she wouldn't be tough enough with you, either. And remember, he doesn't think you should be an apprentice at all. He thinks you're useless and will never be able to be a warrior. He doesn't even think you could be a medicine cat._

I can change his mind! I'll show him my amazing back-kick!

_That's a good idea. Go find Fernkit and practice the move on her._

I glanced around the camp, searching for the smaller white kit. She was happily chasing a butterfly by the fresh-kill pile. I crouched down low to the ground, my belly almost touching the grass. I slowly stalked toward the kit, keeping my tail still. I was sort of combining the hunter's crouch with the back-kick. That would show Bramblestar I can learn!

Once I got close to Fernkit, I leaped at her and landed on her back. I dug my claws into her soft white fur and pulled her down. She thrashed wildly as I rolled off of her, staring into her frightened blue eyes. The kit swatted my face with her paw, but not hard enough to leave a mark. I turned around and jumped in the air, thrusting my hind legs back. They hit Fernkit's chest hard enough to cause her to fall. My back-kick had worked! I sent Fernkit tumbling to the ground!

_Good work, Mosskit._

Looking up at Bramblestar, Mother, and Father, I was surprised to see horror spreading across their faces. They didn't look happy to see that I had learned something. Bramblestar stood up and quickly hurried over to Fernkit, shoving me out of the way. He bent down close to her, obviously inspecting her injuries.

He lifted his head and called something out. I guess he must have been calling Jayfeather and Icecloud, because they both appeared out of the medicine cat's den and nursery and ran over to the kit. Jayfeather nosed Fernkit, trying to get her on her paws, but she didn't move. Icecloud lifted her head to the sky and moved her mouth. She must have been wailing, I guess. Jayfeather then lifted Fernkit and started carrying her to his den. Had I really hurt her that bad?

_You did the move correctly. That's all that matters. You showed Bramblestar that you can fight. Fernkit was weak, anyway. She barely even tried to fight back._

Bramblestar watched Jayfeather and Icecloud disappear into the medicine cat's den before he turned back to stare at me. Amazement and horror filled his eyes. I swallowed nervously. Surely he'd let me be an apprentice now, right? Since I proved I can learn?

Mother and Father padded over to the ThunderClan leader, and they looked even more upset than Bramblestar. The dark tom said something to my parents, not taking his eyes off of me. They nodded in agreement to whatever he told them. What was he saying?

_He says that you can be an apprentice. He isn't happy that a deaf kit can fight, but he will give you the chance to prove yourself._

I'm pretty sure I've already proven myself.

_Bramblestar still has doubts. The rest of ThunderClan still have doubts. You will have to constantly prove yourself over and over. Remember this, Mosskit: You are perfectly capable of being a warrior. Don't let anyone who says otherwise stop you. Do whatever it takes to show them you are worth it._


	6. Chapter 5

_**(A/N: I'm glad everyone likes the story so far! Seriously, 63 reviews for just the Prologue- Chapter 4? That's great! That's just about what I got for my first story by the time I finished it. Anyway, here's Chapter 5!)**_

Chapter 5

I watched as Bramblestar leaped up onto the High Ledge. My body trembled with excitement as I padded to the base of the smooth gray stone. I was going to be an apprentice! I sat down on the grass and watched as my Clanmates gathered around. None of them looked happy. I guess they saw what I had done to Fernkit.

_Get over it. You did nothing wrong. She'll live._

I didn't mean to hurt her that badly. I just wanted to show Bramblestar that I could learn.

_And you did. Your Clanmates just weren't expecting you to be so good at that back-kick._

They're mad because I hurt a four moon old kit.

_Get over it. You've got to be stronger than this, Mosskit. _

I sighed, staring down at the grass. I didn't really want to hurt Fernkit, but I had proven to Bramblestar that I could be an apprentice, so I guess it's okay. I got what I wanted and she's going to live, so there really isn't a problem, right?

I stared up at Bramblestar, not knowing exactly what he was saying to the other cats. I wondered what leaders say when they make a kit into an apprentice.

_He's saying 'Mosskit is six moons old, so she has to be made an apprentice. Until she becomes a warrior- _if _she becomes a warrior- her name will be Mosspaw.'_

Really? That doesn't sound very official. I would have thought that a ceremony would have more official-sounding words.

_He's not doing the ceremony correctly. Bramblestar doesn't really think you should be an apprentice, so he doesn't see the need to do the proper ceremony._

Well, I'll show him that I can be the best apprentice ThunderClan has ever seen! I'll be a great warrior!

_You just keep telling yourself that. If you believe you can be a great warrior, then you will be. Anyway, now Bramblestar's saying that Lionblaze will be your mentor._

I turned away from the base of the High Ledge to see a golden tabby tom padding toward me. His amber eyes were dark with worry, but he bent his head to touch noses with me. I stretched up to the tip of my toes to reach him. He was much bigger than me. _Will he be a good mentor? _I asked Snowtuft.

_He'll do. He's a strong cat with excellent battle skills, and he trained Dovewing so he's an experienced mentor._

_Why did Bramblestar choose him for me? _I wondered. _If he's such a great cat, but Bramblestar thinks I shouldn't even be an apprentice, then why not let Lionblaze mentor Thrushkit or Darkkit?_

_Bramblestar decided you need a tough mentor. He's seen what you're capable of. He thinks if you'll attack a kit you need to have a mentor who can harness your fighting abilities and make you a better cat who won't hurt those weaker than you._

I narrowed my eyes, feeling annoyed with my guide. _But you're the one who told me to attack her!_

_Bramblestar thinks you're worthless. You're going to need to attack others to prove you're not. You'll have to do things ThunderClan might not approve of, but it's alright because it will show them that you are capable of being just like them- or even better._

I don't want to kill anyone, though. I'll learn the proper battle techniques, but I'm not going to kill!

_I won't force you to kill anyone. You just need to learn how to deal with these ignorant fools who think you're useless. They need to be shown just how strong you are. _

I noticed the crowd of cats were moving away from the High Ledge, casting distrustful glances at me. None of them looked happy that I had been made an apprentice. Feeling slightly hurt by their rejection, I turned to face Lionblaze. Before he could do anything, Mother hurried over to me. Her eyes were shining with happiness as she licked the top of my head. Father stood farther back, but I noticed he looked proud as well.

_Hazeltail and Toadstep believe in you, Mosspaw. They are the only ones who think you have a chance of being great. Parents are like that. They will always stay by your side and support you. Stand by them, Mosspaw. As long as they love you, you will never be alone. Every other cat in ThunderClan may dislike you, but Hazeltail and Toadstep won't let you fall._

I blinked up at Mother happily. At least two cats here didn't think I was horrible. If they thought I could be a great warrior, I wouldn't let them down.

* * *

I laid down in my new nest that night, tired out after a day of following Lionblaze around the territory. He and I had trekked all across the forest, seeing every border, tree, and blade of grass in ThunderClan's territory. I could tell he thought the tour was wasted. He didn't bother talking to me at all. He just motioned with his tail for me to follow. What he didn't know was that Snowtuft was telling me everything. I knew where the WindClan border was. I knew how foul the stench in ShadowClan territory was. Lionblaze may not think he needed to explain anything, but I had Snowtuft for that.

The apprentices' den was much different than the nursery. Back in my old den, the queens and kits went to sleep as soon as the moon was high. Here, the other apprentices seemed to enjoy staying up late and talking with each other. There are quite a few apprentices in ThunderClan. Amberpaw, Snowpaw, and Dewpaw are the oldest. They're getting pretty big and know a lot. I don't think it will be long before they're made warriors. Brackenpaw, Honeypaw, and Hollypaw are a bit younger. They were only made apprentices two moons ago. Not all of them seemed particularly happy to have a new denmate. Honeypaw had been nice enough to help me make a nest, but other than that they all seemed to ignore me. Now that I didn't have Hazeltail with me, I felt alone and unwanted here. Was it really worth StarClan sending me a guide if no one wanted me to be a warrior anyway?

_Snowtuft_? I asked.

_What?_

_Why are you helping me anyway?_

_I told you- StarClan sent me to be your guide._

That didn't answer my question. _But why you?_

Snowtuft didn't answer immediately. _Because I know what you're going through._

_How?_

_I had a kit once, many season-cycles ago. _

_So? Many cats have kits._

He paused again. _I had a daughter- and like you, she was deaf._

**_(A/N: Just thought I should say this to avoid confusion: Bramblestar did the ceremony correctly. Snowtuft is just feeding Mosspaw lies.)_**


	7. Chapter 6

**(A/N: Literally the ONLY good thing about Snowtuft is that he isn't lying to her about her parents. Other than that, he_'s a *censored*. I wonder how long it will be before Mosspaw realizes that...)_**

Chapter 6

I bounced after Lionblaze as we left the ThunderClan camp early one morning. A few days had passed since I became an apprentice, and so far I had impressed my mentor with my near-perfect hunter's crouch. I had never seen such shock in someone's eyes in all my life.

_You've had a lot of time to practice, since none of the kits or apprentices paid any attention to you before._

I know, I know. My lonely kithood had actually been beneficial. Since I hadn't had any friends, I had no distractions. I could concentrate on copying what I saw the apprentices teaching the other kits. Now I was proving to Lionblaze that I had actually learned something!

_You'll show all of them. By the time you become a warrior, you could be the strongest cat in the Clan!_

I don't know about that. I will be a good warrior, though.

Lionblaze suddenly stopped walking. I glanced around at where we had stopped. We were deep in our forest, with the tall trees towering over us. The forest floor was covered in bracken and dead leaves. This was the perfect place to practice hunting.

My mentor sat down on the soft grass, staring at me expectantly. I knew that he wanted me to find some kind of prey and stalk it. I glanced around the area, scenting the air. _Mouse!_

_Where is it, Mosspaw?_

Hm…that's a good question. I studied the forest floor, searching for movement. At the base of a wide, tall oak tree a few leaves were shifting. The mouse must be underneath!

_Good. Now remember to do your crouch properly. Keep your tail straight so that it doesn't move. Step lightly and be careful to make a sound. You may not be able to hear anything, but that mouse can hear every move you make._

I nod, determined to catch my first piece of prey. I lowered myself slowly, my belly fur just above the grass. I straightened out my tail, making it even with my back. Carefully, I stepped forward, paying attention the ground beneath me. I made sure not to step on a little twig, and then not to step into a thorny bush. When I got close enough to the tree roots to see the tiny creature moving beneath the leaves, I sprang. My paws hit the leaves directly on top of the mouse. It hadn't seen me coming! Quickly I bit down on the mouse's back, killing it instantly. I had caught my very first mouse!

_Excellent! That was great, Mosspaw!_

_Thank you, Snowtuft,_ I thought before turning to face Lionblaze. He looked surprised to see the little mouse in my jaw. I held my head up proudly, glad to have shocked my mentor. He gave me a nod of approval before standing up to lead me to another prey-rich place.

_You surprised him, but he isn't proud of you._

I can take surprise. I figured my first catch would be surprising to him- and probably to everyone else in ThunderClan.

_He still doesn't think it's worth training you._

I can make him see it's worth it, though. I caught this mouse, didn't I? Once I show Lionblaze that I can catch more prey, he'll see that I can be a good hunter.

_You keep telling yourself that, kit._

We didn't return to camp until the sun was beginning to set. I had had a great day out hunting with Lionblaze. He had showed me the proper way to stalk a bird, and after a few unsuccessful tried to catch a robin, I had managed to get a small sparrow. It wasn't the greatest catch, but I could improve my technique. Lionblaze still looked shocked when I caught the sparrow, though. I guess it'll take more than two catches to prove that I can hunt.

As I proudly dropped my catch onto the fresh-kill pile, I saw Lionblaze pad over to Bramblestar and Squirrelflight. I wondered if he was going to tell them about my hunting skills.

_Of course that's what he's going to tell them. Bramblestar is going to want to hear a report about your training every day. If he thinks for a moment that training you is a waste of time, he'll stop making Lionblaze mentor you._

So what does Lionblaze think? I know he's surprised, but does he at least think I can learn?

_He thinks your catches were just lucky. He doesn't think you'll ever be a decent hunter._

I sighed loudly. Does anyone think I'll be good at anything? Before Snowtuft could answer, a gray and white she-cat padded up to me. Mother had seen me drop my catch into the fresh-kill pile, I guess. Her eyes were shining with pride as she licked the top of my head. She was purring- I could tell by the way her body vibrated.

_Your mother loves you. She and Toadstep believe in you. They are the only two cats in ThunderClan who know you'll be great. Everything you do- every piece of prey you catch, every patrol you lead, every battle you fight in in- do it for them._

I will.

_Promise?_

Of course I do. I want my mother and father to always be proud of me.

_Good. Now go get some fresh-kill. You deserve it._

I gave my mother one more happy look before turning to go get something to eat. I scanned the selection of prey carefully, wondering what would be best. After careful consideration, I finally chose my sparrow. I could taste the prey I had caught myself!

As I padded over to the shady spot next to apprentices' den where we ate, I noticed Honeypaw, Hollypaw, and Brackenpaw were sitting there eating as well. I gave the three a friendly nod as I sat down beside them to eat. I was surprised to see Hollypaw and Brackenpaw exchange unhappy glances with each other. Brackenpaw glared at me and stood up to leave, walking away with his tail lashing. Hollypaw came up to me and snatched my sparrow right out of my paws before stalking after Brackenpaw. What did I do to make them so mad?

_You're deaf. They don't think you should be training with them or eating their food._

I caught that sparrow myself! I wasn't eating their prey!

_They don't like you. No one likes you except for Hazeltail and Toadstep. You keep forgetting that. ThunderClan is your enemy, Mosspaw. Don't forget what they think about you. You are worthless to them, and you always will be._


	8. Chapter 7

_**(A/N: Hello, my loyal subjects. I've got a few announcements for you. First, I'm moving out of my dorm tomorrow. I'll probably have time to get a new episode of Win a Date with Nightcloud up, but Friday I'll be busy with my dad and Saturday I'll be driving home. Don't be surprised if I don't update anything until Sunday.**_

_**Second, I've been asked to advertise a few stories. Now let me make one thing clear- I will not do this often. I will only advertise stories I have read and believe they deserve more recognition. So don't give me a flood of stories for me to advertise, because I probably won't. However, the ones I am advertising today are stories I believe are really good and definitely deserve more reviews than they're getting. Please take a look at Breaking Boundaries by A Castle of Glass and Turn Away, Beyond Oblivion, and Endless Leaf-bare by Guestpersonanonymous. These stories are absolutely wonderful and worth your time. Please give them a chance! :)  
**_

_**Now on with the story...)**_

Chapter 7

The moon rose high in the dark night sky. It was completely round and almost white, shining over the forest floor brightly. I stared up at the round moon with awe. I had seen it like this before, but I was always amazed by how bright it was.

A few of my Clanmates were gathering by the entrance to the camp. They did this every night of the full moon. Bramblestar took a small group of cats somewhere for a while. I had no idea where they went, but I was curious about where they were going and why they only went on the full moon.

_Because that's the night the Gathering is._

I was confused. What on earth is a Gathering?

_It's when ThunderClan meets with the tree other Clans to discuss what's been going on the past moon. They talk about new kits being born, new apprentices and new warriors getting their names, and just about life in general. It's supposed to be a peaceful time for the Clans._

I'm a new apprentice. Will Bramblestar mention me?

_Of course not. He thinks you're an embarrassment to the Clan. He probably won't ever let you go to a Gathering either._

That's not fair. I'm not an embarrassment! I can hunt just as well as the other apprentices, and I'm getting better at my battle moves, too!

_Bramblestar doesn't care. He doesn't like you, Mosspaw. No one likes you except for your parents. Stop trying to convince yourself that you're liked. You have to earn their approval._

I sighed, flopping down on the soft green grass. I wish Snowtuft would stop reminding me that no one likes me. I already know that. I'd just like to think for a few moments that it isn't true.

Bramblestar made his way to the group of cats standing near the entrance to camp. My mother and father were among those going to the Gathering tonight. I wondered briefly if they had asked our leader if I could come. Then I figured even if they had, Bramblestar had probably refused. Lilycloud- the newest warrior- was also going. I guess it's fine for Bramblestar to present her to the other Clans. She's not an embarrassment.

Out of the seven apprentices, four were going to the Gathering. I watched as Snowpaw, Dewpaw, Hollypaw, and Brackenpaw stood proudly by their mentors. Seeing the two younger apprentices standing with the group, their eyes shining with pride and delight, made me feel a slight burst of anger. Hollypaw and Brackenpaw had been nothing but bullies since I became an apprentice. The eldest apprentices just ignored me, but those two made a point of putting burs in my nest and mouse bile in my fur. I still remembered how Hollypaw had snatched my sparrow right from my paws. There is nothing nice about that she-cat.

Snorting, I stood up and turned away from the group of cats. I didn't want to see Hollypaw or Brackenpaw anymore than I had to. Padding into the apprentices' den, I saw Honeypaw curled up in her nest. Unlike her sister and brother, she had never taunted my or done anything cruel. Out of the three of them, I disliked her least.

As I climbed in my own nest, I must have accidently nudged the golden-colored tabby. She stirred and blinked one light green eye, seeing what had disturbed her. Seeing me, she opened both eyes and sat up, licking her chest to smooth a tuft of ruffled fur. She opened her mouth to say something, but then quickly shut it as if she suddenly remembered I wouldn't be able to hear her. She gave me a sheepish look before curling back up in her nest. I wondered what she had been planning on saying to me. It was no good wishing that, because then I'd only wish I could respond.

_She was going to say, 'I guess we're both staying home tonight.'_

Why would she say that?

_Because she didn't get to go to the Gathering either._

Oh. That made sense. I wondered why she didn't get to go while her brother and sister did. I knew why Amberpaw wasn't going to go to the Gathering- she had stepped on a thorn and hurt her paw real bad. Honeypaw was perfectly fine, though.

_Bramblestar can't take all of his apprentices. ThunderClan has seven. A few have to be left behind or the other Clans would think he was planning an attack._

Well, I think Honeypaw deserved to go to the Gathering more than her littermates did. They steal my prey and but burs in my nest and get rewarded for it, while she does nothing wrong and has to stay home.

_Because no one cares if Hollypaw or Brackenpaw pick on you. They're just doing what everyone else wants to do._

Then how come Honeypaw doesn't?

_Um…she wants to, too. She's just as bad as they are. Remember, everyone in ThunderClan is your enemy. Everyone._

I swear, if I hear that one more time I'm going to seriously hurt someone. _Tell me more about your daughter, Snowtuft. What was she like?_

Snowtuft heaved a huge sigh before answering, as if remembering something sad. _She was the only one in her litter to survive. She had two brothers, but they both died shortly after birth to greencough. I thought I was going to lose her, too. _

That's so sad. I was the only kit in my litter. I can't even imagine how sad Mother and Father would have been if I had died.

_My daughter was absolutely beautiful. She had long white fur that shone brightly in the sun and deep blue eyes. She was perfect. I didn't care that she was deaf. I knew she would grow up to be a great warrior. She was a fighter- she fought greencough and won when her brothers couldn't. She would have been great at anything she did. Her mother and I thought the world of her._

That's so sweet. _What was her name?_

_Swallowkit. My mate, Rosebriar, chose it. I thought it was the perfect name for an even more perfect kit. Rosebriar and I both loved our daughter more than anything else in the entire world. There was nothing we wouldn't do for her._

_You and Rosebriar sound like my mother and father_, I thought, yawning.

_We were exactly like Hazeltail and Toadstep- two parents who loved their only daughter very much. Remember, Mosspaw: no matter how bad things get and how mean everyone else is to you, your parents will always be there for you. Just like I loved my daughter, your parents will never stop loving you._

**_(A/N: Yeah, I decided to end the chapter on a sweet note this time. It may not happen often._**

**_I'd like to point out that Hollypaw and Brackenpaw are the only mean ones in the Clan. Seriously. Only them. They're a couple of brats, but everyone else is nice. Bramblestar will probably take Mosspaw to a Gathering at some point. Maybe. Depends on where I take this story. But yeah...it's okay to dislike Hollypaw and Brackenpaw.)_**


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

I stood in front of Lionblaze in the training hollow, watching him with narrowed eyes. I had been his apprentice for two moons now, and I was becoming a skilled hunter and fighter. I could now catch mice, rabbits, and birds as well as the older apprentices, and I knew I was impressing Lionblaze. Now we were practicing some battle moves, and today I had finally perfected a belly roll I had been working on for the past half-moon.

My mentor was thinking. He was always doing that. Every time I made a catch or did a battle move correctly, he made his thinking face- he scrunched up his nose and narrowed his eyes. I wondered what he was thinking about. I had proved I could do the belly-roll, so I assumed we would move on to a harder move. Instead, Lionblaze finally turned to face Mousewhisker, who as working with Dewpaw. The two toms exchanged a few words, and then the large gray-and-white tom mewed something to his apprentice. What were they saying?

_Lionblaze wants you to take on Dewpaw in a mock fight._

What? Dewpaw was one of the eldest apprentices! He was as big as Mousewhisker already. It wouldn't be long before the white tom earned his warrior name.

_Lionblaze thinks you're ready to participate in a mock fight. Dewpaw knows it's your first time. He'll go a little easy on you. Now when you're as good as his littermates are…_

My mentor beckoned me over to him with his tail. I padded up to him, feeling excited and a little nervous about battling the much larger apprentice. Lionblaze nodded in Dewpaw's direction, trying to tell me what he wanted me to do. I stared at the white tom as he crouched down, his haunches raised and his eyes narrowed. He was preparing to strike.

I didn't give him time to strike first. I immediately leaped at him, landing on his back. Dewpaw was surprised. I could feel a tremor of shock run through his body. The white tom twisted around, trying to dislodge me. I jumped off, swiping a sheathed paw at his face. He launched himself at me, crashing into my side. I fell over and rolled on my back as Dewpaw stood over me, raising a paw to graze my face. Just as he was about to connect with my nose, I leaped up and hit him in his chest, sending him to the ground. I stood over him, placing my small paws on his shoulders and bending down so that my nose nearly touched his. He was panting quickly, tired from the effort. Relaxing his muscles, he nodded at me in approval. I had won.

_Good work, Mosspaw! That was very impressive. Dewpaw wasn't expecting you to be quite that good yet. Next time he will go harder on you._

Pride swelled within me as I released my grip on the larger apprentice. Moving to the side, I allowed him to get to his paws. Looking over at where our mentors stood, I saw surprise in Mousewhisker's eyes, and pleasure in Lionblaze's. I trotted over to my mentor, giving him a happy flick if my tail. He gave me a nod before murmuring something to the other mentor.

_You shocked them both. Lionblaze knew you could take on another cat your own size. He thought that even with Dewpaw going easy on you, it would still be more of a challenge. _

I followed the mentors and Dewpaw back to camp. Lionblaze and Mousewhisker padded in the lead, talking to each other- probably about their apprentices. Dewpaw followed closely behind them. I could tell by the way he held his head and tail high that he was in a good mood. I figured Mousewhisker must be saying good things about his apprentice.

Once we were back in camp, Lionblaze headed over to where Bramblestar and Squirrelflight sat. The leader and deputy were sitting by the base of the High Ledge, watching Honeypaw teach Icecloud's kits the hunter's crouch. I realized the three kits were six moons old now. It wouldn't be long before Fernkit, Thrushkit, and Darkkit were apprenticed.

My mentor greeted the dark brown tabby leader. It was time for the daily report, I guess. Every single day Lionblaze would tell Bramblestar how I'm doing and what we worked on that day. Knowing the leader would be hearing a good report today, I bounced over to the freshkill pile to get something to eat.

Not paying attention to where I was going, I nearly collided with a golden brown tabby. Brackenpaw jumped back in shock, glaring at me with sharp amber eyes. He opened his mouth to say something, but of course I didn't hear what he said.

_He said 'Watch where you're going, you useless piece of mouse-dung'._

Dumb Brackenpaw. I really, really disliked this cat. He and Hollypaw thought they were so great and liked to taunt me every day and night. I was getting sick and tired of it. I didn't mean to run in to him! Didn't he see that?

_Do you really think he cares?_

No, probably not.

He hates you. Hollypaw hates you. Honeypaw hates you. Amberpaw hates you. Everyone hates you. You have to show them that you won't take their lack of tolerance.

I glared at the older apprentice as he studied the choices in the freshkill pile. His tail was still lashing. Anger boiled inside me as I watched him nose a small robin. Why does he hate me?

_Everyone hates you! Get that through your head! Do something about it. Brackenpaw deserves to suffer for what he's done to you. Show him you're not a useless piece of mouse-dung!_

That's exactly what I'll do. I'll show him that I'm not useless or worthless! As he finally selected a small rabbit, I sprang at him. Hitting Brackenpaw's side with a strong thrust, the apprentice fell over, completely unprepared for the attack. With a look of shock, he rolled away from me and leaped to his paws. I didn't give him a chance to get away. Springing again, I tore into him. I slashed his face with sharp claws and bit his shoulder, drawing blood. He raised a paw to scratch me, but I twisted out of his reach. Diving under him, I knocked Brackenpaw off of his feet. He collapsed on the ground, rolling onto his back and exposing his soft belly. I showed no mercy and slashed through his thick fur, raking my claws from his chin to the base of his tail. The look in his eyes turned from shock to pure horror. Please that he was paying for how he had treated me, I went in for the killing blow and bit his throat. He was now in too much pain to struggle.

Backing away from the apprentice, I raised my head high. I had shown him that I would not tolerate his constant bullying! Now everyone would see that I'm a force to be reckoned with. Not even Jayfeather would be able to save the golden tabby now.

Turning to face the crowd of cats that had gathered to watch, frozen in shock and helpless to save Brackenpaw, I saw the looks of horror and terror on their faces. I know I should have been fazed by their reaction, but I wasn't. I had shown them that I'm not useless, and I had shown them that I will not stand for anyone thinking so.

_That was perfect, Mosspaw. Brackenpaw deserved his death. He was cruel and evil and didn't deserve to live. But this will not be your last murder, kit. You have horrified your Clan, but there are cats who will still think you're useless. The teasing and the taunting and the cruelty will not end until every cat in ThunderClan is dead._


	10. Chapter 9

_**(A/N: Now we're going to start seeing changes in Mosspaw. Who wants to start an angry mob and lynch Snowtuft? Or would having him beheaded be more fun?)**_

Chapter 9

Everyone is mad at me. If they didn't like me before, they really don't like me now. They're all mad because I killed Brackenpaw. It's like they don't even care about how mean he was to me. He deserved what he got. If he hadn't pushed me around and taunted me every day since I was kit, he'd still be alive now. But that maggot-heart is dead, and no one cares about how I feel. They only care about Cinderheart and Lionblaze- Brackenpaw's parents.

Lionblaze wasn't my mentor anymore. He was beyond furious with me for murdering his son. The golden tom won't even look at me anymore. He makes a point of it to stay as far away from me as possible. Bramblestar won't look at me anymore, either. Now I'm sure he thinks I shouldn't get to be a warrior. Warriors don't slaughter their own Clanmates, after all. Instead of showing everyone that I won't tolerate bullying, all I did was ensure that I'd be made a prisoner in my own camp. I had been banished from the apprentices' den, and was forced to stay in a dark corner of the camp away from everybody else. I had been made a nest, but whoever made it hadn't taken care to remove the thorns from the tightly-woven brambles. It was uncomfortable and lonely in that corner. The only attention I ever got was when Squirrelflight would toss a piece of prey in my direction. At least they weren't starving me.

I didn't even care anymore. I didn't care about being a stupid warrior in this stupid Clan. They all thought I was the cruel and heartless one, not Brackenpaw. I knew I wasn't cruel- just fed up with my Clanmates. I was annoyed and growing more bitter with every passing day. Every cat in the Clan hated me, and I now hated them. How could they make me a prisoner? I was only standing up for myself!

_You keep telling yourself that. You did nothing wrong._

I know! Brackenpaw deserved to die. He was rude and enjoyed making me miserable. Cats who beat up on weaker cats need to die. It's not right.

_You were right to kill Brackenpaw. StarClan doesn't blame you for his death. They know how he treated you._

_And they approve of it? _I asked.

_Of course they do. A true warrior would never abuse a cat in need. Brackenpaw was breaking the Warrior Code, so his death was justified._

I heaved a sigh of relief. StarClan wasn't angry with me, at least. _But now I'm a prisoner!_

_Bramblestar's an idiot. He should not have punished you for defending yourself. If he's so blind that he couldn't see Brackenpaw had been pushing you around for more than two moons, then he doesn't deserve to be leader._

That's what I thought. Who punishes somebody whose only crime was standing up for herself?

_Somebody who's no better than the bullies._

A sudden movement by the nursery caught my eye. Momentarily distracted from my anger, I watched as Rosepetal led her tiny kits out of the nursery for the first time. Born only a half-moon ago, Pinekit and Swallowkit stumbled after their mother on unsteady legs, blinking large eyes in silent wonder as they looked around the camp. The tiny kits were absolutely adorable. Pinekit- a little reddish-colored tom, was a miniature version of his father, Foxleap. Swallowkit, a dark-cream she-cat, followed her brother, looking overwhelmed by the sight of our camp.

_They will grow to hate you, too._

Sighing, I realized Snowtuft was probably right. Even though these kits were extremely young and couldn't hate anyone yet, it wouldn't be long before they'd learn that everyone here hated me, and then they'd hate me too just because that's the acceptable thing to do.

_Nobody likes you, Mosspaw._

_You don't have to remind me, Snowtuft,_ I thought crossly. _I'm not going to forget._

_You'd better not. Even though you killed Brackenpaw, you didn't show ThunderClan that you aren't to be messed with. Now they think they have mores reasons to hate you._

I thought killing Brackenpaw was the right thing to do. I'd do it all over again if I could. I really hated that tom.

_You had good reason too. But don't forget about Hollypaw. She has been just as cruel to you as her brother was._

I sighed. Snowtuft was right. Hollypaw was awful, and now she was worse than ever because I had killed her brother.

_You may have to deal with her, too. Don't worry about how your Clan will react. StarClan will be okay with you standing up for yourself. They know you've done nothing wrong. If Bramblestar or Squirrelflight or anyone else has a problem with you, you deal with them. Don't just lay around and sulk. Take action!_

_You mean you want me to kill Hollypaw and possibly Bramblestar and Squirrelflight? _I thought, kind of shocked that my guide would suggest that I murder my leader and deputy.

_Bramblestar punished you wrongly. He punished a little apprentice who'd been tormented for moons and only once tried to defend herself. Only a cruel tyrant would do that. He deserves to die._

Sometimes I wonder if there's anyone who _doesn't _deserve to die.

_You don't. Neither does your mother nor you father._

_But they've been avoiding me, too!_

_Because Bramblestar ordered them to. He doesn't want anyone talking to you. You're a prisoner. Hazeltail and Toadstep are furious with Bramblestar. They know how cruel Brackenpaw was to you and don't think it's fair that Bramblestar gave you such a harsh punishment._

I missed my mother and father. I wished they could come and see me. I was so lonely, left with only my own thoughts and the voice of a cat I cannot see who liked to remind me that everyone hated me. It wasn't an ideal situation. Bramblestar may have thought that being made a prisoner would make me 'learn my lesson', but all it was doing was making me more and more angry at my Clanmates. They all hated me, and I now hated all of them.


	11. Chapter 10

_**(A/N: Hey, y'all! I am sooooo sorry there hasn't been an update in over a week! I was pet-sitting/house-sitting and the people didn't give me their wifi password. They live in the middle of nowhere, so there wasn't anywhere I could go that had wifi. Sorry! I'm back!)**_

Chapter 10

My life was horrible. I couldn't leave that corner of the camp- not even just to get a piece of prey. I was completely alone, cut off from the rest of my Clan. I could only sit and watch life go on around me, but I couldn't join in even if I wanted to. No one cared enough to even look at me. The only attention I got was when Squirrelflight would fling a mouse or something my way. Other than that, no one came to see me. No one came to talk to me. I wouldn't have been able to hear them, but some company would have been much appreciated.

ThunderClan got over much of their anger at me, but they still didn't trust me enough to let me join in with their activities. They had stopped sending me furious glares- but then again, they had stopped sending me any glances at all. They may not have been so angry with me anymore, but my imprisonment still continued. Sometimes I wondered if anyone other than the deputy even remembered I was here. It was like I didn't even exist anymore. No one cared that there was a deaf apprentice who wanted to be a part of her Clan so badly and was just wasting her life sitting in a secluded corner of the camp.

I had really grown to hate my Clan. They had done this to me. They had banished me to the corner of camp for only defending myself. They didn't care that Brackenpaw had deserved to die. They didn't care that he had bullied me to my breaking point. They didn't care about how miserable I felt when he was alive. They just cared that I had killed him. I didn't care, though. I knew that what I had done was right.

One day about a moon of my imprisonment, a gray tabby apprentice padded up to me, glancing around cautiously to make sure no one was looking. It was the one cat I _didn't _want to keep me company- Hollypaw. The she-cat gave me a triumphant look, raising her tail proudly as she sat down next to me. She was glad I had gotten in trouble. It was her brother that I had killed, after all. With one more glance behind her just to be sure the Clan was not paying attention, she swiped her paw across my face. I jumped back in pain, feeling the sting of her claws on my nose. Rubbing my paw across my face, I saw the red stream of blood staining my formerly-clean white paw.

Hollypaw looked pleased to have caused me pain. She wanted me to suffer. With another swipe, she raked her claws across my right ear, tearing at the thin flesh. I shook my head furiously, spraying blood onto the grass below me. I heaved a deep breath, trying to stay calm. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't retaliate. I had to show my Clan that I wasn't out to kill everybody.

_She attacked you! Kill her!_ A voice screamed in my head.

_No!_ I cried back.

The tabby apprentice had realized that I wasn't going to fight back. Instead of backing off, she must have decided to provoke me further. Hollypaw wanted me to retaliate. She wanted me to get in more trouble. She raised a paw to rake my chest, and I only stared at her sorrowfully. I couldn't bring myself to fight against her. I flinched as her claws cut into my flesh, drawing more blood. Hollypaw then pushed her muscular body against mine so hard that I fell over, unable to stand against her weight. She stood over me, preparing to strike one more time.

I wondered briefly why no cat was coming to my rescue. Then I realized with a shock that they really didn't care. I knew that they wouldn't go out of their way to keep me company, but I hadn't thought they'd let another apprentice nearly kill me. Apparently they would.

_Kill her! She provoked you! She's going to kill you if you don't fight back!_

With a sigh, I realized Snowtuft was right. I might die if I don't fight back. ThunderClan probably wouldn't care if I died, but I cared. They had let me lie in misery for a moon. They had punished me for defending myself. I was angrier than I ever had been. I would show them that I would not tolerate their treatment of me. I would not die today, but Hollypaw would.

Pulling myself together, I rolled out of Hollypaw's grasp. Because I had initially not defended myself against her attack, she was caught by surprise and let me get away. She quickly regaining her composure and leaped at me with outstretched claws, but I was ready for her. I leaped in the air to meet her, and we crashed into each other. As we landed on the ground, I ran my claws against her pelt, drawing blood. She must have let out a blood-curdling screech, because right after that cats began rushing over. They had finally noticed what was going on, and they were coming to stop me. It was too late, though. I scraped my claws against her throat, and then leaned in and bit her hard with my sharp teeth. She collapsed onto the ground just as Bramblestar grabbed me by the scruff and pulled me off of the other apprentice. I didn't care, though. The deed was done. I stared at Hollypaw with pride as the light died in her blue eyes. I had killed her.

_Good work, Mosspaw! _

ThunderClan had caused the apprentice's death. I would not have killed her had they not punished me so severely. I had come to hate my Clan with all my heart. Whatever they did now would have no effect on what I was about to do. I was furious with every member of ThunderClan. I hated them all with every fiber of my being. They had made my life horrible. They had made me their prisoner, and I would make them pay.


	12. Chapter 11

_**(A/N: Yay! I finally got around to writing another chapter! Sorry it took so long. Anyway, I'll try to write another chapter or two this week. Saturday I'm leaving on vacation for a week and a half, so I won't be able to write then (My family's going on a cruise and we prefer not paying to use the ship's wifi). Anyway, I was asked if I drew the cover art for this. No, I did not. I can't draw anything at all. It was made by the amazing ligersrcool, so she's the one to thank for the beautiful (and slightly evil looking) picture. I was also asked when Bluestar and Oakheart are going to noticed what's going on. Actually, I was planning on introducing the "good" voice in the next chapter. Who should I use? Bluestar, Oakheart, or somebody else?)**_

Chapter 11

I almost can't believe what happened to me. I mean, I understand why Bramblestar thought he had to punish me. No one had noticed the way Hollypaw had provoked me- they only saw me kill her. I knew what I had done was right. She deserved death. No real warrior would pick on a weaker cat. Clanmates are supposed to care about and protect one another. Hollypaw certainly did not care about me. No one in the Clan besides my mother and father cared about me at all. They hadn't in a long time.

Bramblestar's decision was harsh. I can still picture the horror on my mother's face when the leader announced my punishment. I can see Hazeltail and Toadstep springing to their paws, yowling their protests. It was no use. I was banished. I had killed two of my Clanmates. It didn't matter that they had deserved it. It didn't matter that I was deaf and only partially trained. I no longer had a place in ThunderClan.

Snowtuft had explained that Bramblestar had wanted to get rid of me earlier, but he had been afraid to banish the deaf kit. It would have made him look bad. Even the other Clans would be horrified at the idea of sending a young, weak kit out to fend for herself. But now that I had killed two cats, Bramblestar finally had a good reason to send me away. I had proved I could never learn the Warrior Code. I could never become a warrior.

_Why would you want to be a part of that Clan, anyway?_

I never thought anyone would be so cruel as to banish me. Brackenpaw and Hollypaw were the ones at fault here- not me.

_That's right. Bramblestar was wrong to banish you. He is evil and heartless, sending such a poor little kit out on her own. _

I'm not completely on my own. Mother and Father had both protested my punishment. When Bramblestar had refused to rethink, my parents grew angry and worried. They knew there was no way I could survive on my own. Sure, I could hunt, but what would happen if I ran into a rogue, and enemy warrior, or maybe even a dog? I'd never hear them coming. The dark tabby could not be persuaded to give me another chance.

I had watched in horror as Mother's eyes darkened, her claws unsheathing and digging into the soft ground. I wondered briefly if she would attack Bramblestar, but she did not. Instead, she said something that shocked the entire Clan. I wish I could have heard the tone she had said it in, but I could only know the words she said when Snowtuft filled me in.

_She said, 'A Clan that banishes cats unable to survive on their own is not a Clan I want to be a part of.'_

I was surprised that Mother would leave ThunderClan. She loved her Clanmates and was a respected warrior. All the young warriors and apprentices looked up to her. I guess she loved me even more than she loved serving her Clan.

_Hazeltail understands that Bramblestar feels what you did was wrong, but she knows that Brackenpaw and Hollypaw did to you. She knows you were standing up for yourself. She knows who was truly at fault._

Remembering all this leads me to my current situation. Mother had found us a hollowed tree just outside ThunderClan territory to live in. We were in a valley, one with rolling green hills and a few tall trees dotting the land. There was shelter, plenty of prey, and a shallow stream that provided water and the occasional small fish. Mother had done her best to make a soft nest inside the tree, pulling bracken and twigs to line the jagged bottom the hollow. She and I had then spent an entire day collecting bird feathers to make the nest soft.

She was sad. I could tell by the way her eyes shone, clouded with darkness. She would heave sighs every so often, gazing up a small hill toward the ThunderClan territory. I wonder if she missed my father. I missed him. I wished he had come with us, but had chosen so stay in the Clan.

My ears burned as I thought about the Clan that had sent me away. My mother and I were loners now because of one Clan's intolerance. Why hadn't they paid more attention to what was going on right under their noses? Why had they not noticed Brackenpaw and Hollypaw's bullying? I didn't know. I guess they just didn't care.

_They don't. Why would they? You mean nothing to them! You're just a pathetic lump of fur in their eyes. _

Stupid ThunderClan. I never wanted to be a warrior anyway.

_Hey, look on the bright side. It will be easier to get revenge now. You can pick them off one by one. You can take them by surprise. You can kill every last one of them, Mosspaw. Make them pay for what they've done to you._

_Oh, I will, _I thought, lying down on the soft feathers in the hollow tree.

_How much do you hate them, Mosspaw? How much do you hate those no-good mange-pelted worthless pieces of crowfood who made you their prisoner, allowed you to suffer at the paws of bullies, and finally kicked you out for merely defending yourself?_

I unsheathed my claws, imagining digging my claws into Brackenpaw and Hollypaw and ripping them to shreds all over again. _I hate them more than anything in the world._

_Good. They deserve your hatred. They made you suffer more than any cat ever deserves to suffer. Now you can make them suffer just as much as you did._

_I will, Snowtuft. _Closing my eyes, another thought crossed my mind. _What happened to your daughter?_

_Swallowkit?_

I nod tiredly. Hopefully she had a happier life that I did.

_Ha! A happy life? There's no such thing. _Snowtuft paused, and I think I heard him sigh. When he began again, his voice sounded defeated and sad. _She died. She died because no one loved her except for Rosebriar and me. Everyone in our Clan said my sweet little Swallowkit was worthless. Our leader refused to make her an apprentice. Our deputy said she was no better than dirt. The warriors wouldn't want her taking food from the freshkill pile. The apprentices pulled her fur and called her names…horrible names. I was glad she couldn't hear them._

_How did she die?_ I asked.

Snowtuft's voiced hardened. _Our leader- Sandstar- didn't want anything to do with my daughter. Six moons came and went, and he refused to make her an apprentice. Rosebriar and I begged him to give her a chance. We both offered to mentor her. We would have done anything for our daughter. But then…_

_What?_

_There was a fox. We couldn't get it to leave our territory. All or our best warriors tried their hardest to chase it out, but it wouldn't leave. Finally Sandstar had this idea- we plant bait to bring the fox to us, then our warriors kill it. The plan worked, unfortunately. The deputy put the bait near a dead tree on one side of our territory, and it did lure the fox. It took seven warriors to kill the fox, but it worked. They got it._

I opened my eyes, confused. _But how did your daughter die?_

_She was the bait._


End file.
